The Fundie Dictionary

AHS: noun. The things you see with

AIG: noun. Chicken ovaries. "Which came first? The chicken or the aig?"

ALL: noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brutha frum Jawjuh puts all en my pikkup trukk."

ALL WELL: noun A source of petroleum.

ARE: noun. A colorless, odorless gas. Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some are !"

ARN: noun. An electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothes

ARTERY: noun. The study of painting

BACTERIA: noun. The back door of the cafeteria

BAHS: noun. A supervisor. Usage: "Iffin ya dont kwit readin dis here Southern Fundie Dictionary an git back ta wurk, yer bahs is goan far ya!"

BARIUM: verb. What the doctors do when patients die

BARD: verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pikkup trukk."

BAWL: noun. What water does at 212 degrees F.

BENIGN: verb. What you be after you be eight.

BIDNESS: noun. A commercial enterprise.

BOBBY CUE: noun. 1. A delectable southern dish. 2. A billiards stick owned by William.

BOB WAR: noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

BOWEL: noun. A letter like A, E, I, O, or U

CAESARIAN SECTION: noun. An Italian neighborhood.

CAT SCAN: noun. Looking for Fluffy

CAUTERIZE: verb. Made eye contact with her

CLINICS: noun. A tissue.

COKE: noun. Any carbonated beverage which does not contain alcohol.

COLIC: noun. A sheep dog

CONGENITAL: adj. Friendly

CRINE: verb. To weep.

D & C: noun. Where Washington is

DAINTS: noun An event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to music.

DAYUM: verb/explative. What God does to you if you are bad. In the Northern states it's a four letter word.

DID: adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did , Jim."

DILATE: verb To live too long.

DOC: adjective. A condition caused by the absence of light

ENEMA: noun. Not a friend

EVRA: adjective. Each, as in "She bin crine evra day sence JJ run off"

FAR: noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brutha from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pikkup trukk, dat thangs gonna catch far ."

FARN: adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

GENITAL: noun. Not a Jew

G.I. SERIES: noun. A soldiers' ballgame

GIT: verb. To acquire.

GOFF: noun. Game played by city fellers with clubs and a little white ball.

HANGNAIL: noun. A coat hook

HAZE: contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignernt."

HEAVY DEW: phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a faver?"

HEP: verb. To cry for assistance as in "Hep! There's a far!"

HOD: adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

HOSS: noun. A large, hoofed, herbivorous animal.

HOT: noun. A blood-pumping organ.

IGNERNT: adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "I done like niggras cawse theys ignernt."

IMPOTENT: adj. Distinguished, well known

JAWJUH: noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

JEW-HERE: a question. Usage: " Jew-here watt yer paw sed, yungin?"

LABOR PAIN: noun. Getting hurt at work

LECTRICITY: noun. Energy for arns, tv's an utha thangs.

LOT: adjective. Luminescent. Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot -brown hair."

MAY: noun. Myself "Somebody hep may!"

MEDICAL STAFF: noun. A doctor's cane

MORBID: noun. A higher offer.