Understanding Jewish Women

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed it is due to the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

There's a big controversy on the Jewish view of exactly when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.


When the doctor called Mrs. Liebermann to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."


A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak." The son says, "Why are you so weak?" She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 5 days." The man says, "That's terrible! Why haven't you eaten in 5 days? The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."


A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful. What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."


Short summary of every Jewish Holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.


Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied.