The Priest's Ass

A Texan priest wanted to raise some money for his church; hearing that there was a lot of money in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse. However, horses proved to be too expensive for his small budget, so he ended up buying a donkey instead. Figuring he had nothing to lose, the priest decided to enter the donkey in the horse race, in which, to his astonishment, the donkey came in second place! The next day's headlines in the Daily Racing Form read:

PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS

Encouraged by the donkey's strong beginning, the priest entered the donkey in the races again. This time the donkey won, inspiring the headline,

PRIEST'S ASS OUT IN FRONT

Meanwhile, the bishop had gotten word of these outrageous headlines and decided that this kind of publicity was not good for his parish. So, he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in any more races. Next day the headlines read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS

Needless to say, the bishop was not pleased with this, so he told the priest to get rid of the donkey. The priest obliged, giving it to a convent. The headlines following this read:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

Well, this made the bishop angrier than ever, and he ordered the Mother Superior at the convent to sell the animal. She sold it to a farmer for $10. The headlines proclaimed:

NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS

The bishop died upon reading this headline. The day after his death, the headlines read:

TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH