Grumpy Old Men

Once upon a time there were two old white men who liked to while away their days sitting on the porch arguing. They argued politics, they argued religion, they argued which minority group they were most bigoted against. On this they agreed: they looked down on them all. A body'd be hard pressed to find two more prejudiced people than these two old friends.

In the course of arguing religion one day, the two old white men got to talking about God. And in the course of talking about God, the two old white men made an agreement: Whoever died first would come back from the dead to tell the other one the facts about God, heaven, the afterlife. (These two old white men, like most people who believe in God, heaven, and an afterlife, never doubted for one second that they themselves were heaven-bound.) So they shook on it, and turned to arguing something else.

In the course of time one of the old men died. The other old man mourned his passing, paid his last respects in proper fashion at the funeral, and eagerly awaited the promised visitation. That very night his friend's ghost appeared to him, looking stricken and pale -- even for a ghost. "Well, hello, old friend! I see you've kept your promise," said the living man. The ghost nodded, eyes wide. "So, you've been to heaven?" The ghost nodded. "And you've seen God?" The ghost nodded. "Well, speak up, man! Tell me about God! What's he like?"
The ghost gulped. Shakily he answered: "She's black."